All I ever wanted was to know where I was going, and all I want now is to forget. The air smells different but it’s familiar. We’ll dance this dance another year, survive another winter.
My first thought, the scariest thing about it, initially, was the thought that after one wash or two, the sheets, the pillowcases, well, no longer would they smell of you, and that, was a sad thought, sad enough to make a man, go mad.
she made a remark about the pleasantness, of my cologne. i looked her up and down, laughing softly under my breath and said. “don’t be fooled pretty girl, it’s there to mask the scent of stale cigarettes. sweat. and cheap booze.” her eyes caught mine and they rolled back into her skull. she took my … Continue reading Scent.
Ruminate on all your misdeeds, shortcomings and why they all leave, you’re a miserable fucking cunt, an abhorrent and spiteful drunk, with a penchant for breaking pretty things. You can’t even look at yourself in the mirror, no drink strong enough in the world to help swallow that fear, that you’ve known the truth about … Continue reading Pretty Things.
I need you in a way I don’t fully understand, you let me back in only to send me on my way again, but this time the pain is far more palatable, you see this time I can’t feel anything at all, and I so desperately wish that was me being over dramatic, but as … Continue reading Nice.
Why does it take, reaching the bottom of a bottle, or a line off the table, to feel anything, anything at all; why am I hellbent on destruction of everything good, I come across; what is my obsession with the fall; where did it go wrong, when did I veer off the beaten path; when … Continue reading Floor.
I am a virus, an infection, a disease. You say you hate me, you don’t know what hate means. I loathe myself, my core and being. An inclination towards destruction, to tear apart everything beautiful at the seams.
It makes no sense, to feel the way that you do, you had everything you wanted, but you kept seeking something new. You did it to yourself, the blame lies only with you, you threw it all away and for what, to find something new? Look at yourself, take in all that you’ve done, destroyed … Continue reading Blame.
i hate writing these shitty, garbage fucking poems. wish i never met you, i would carve a hole in my skull cut out my mind and go simple. but it's deeper than that it wouldn't help me forget. you are a plague on my existence, my skin crawls when you are mentioned. through no fault … Continue reading I don’t.
i exist in a haze of grey, yet still i seek a brighter day, i won't stay lost in this sea of shade, i'm moving towards a brighter day, i caught a glimpse of a greener pasture, down the road but it exists, that's all that matters, even if i have to wait forever, to … Continue reading Meadow.
I saw you and I, on a wrap around porch, in the summertime, 40 years down the line, rocking back and forth in our chairs, wrinkly hands intertwined, laughing about the same old, your olive skin shaded darker by the years, your hair not as long as it was, but your brown eyes, they stayed … Continue reading Same Old.
enough time has passed, where the pain is no longer a constant. it hits now, like a wave strikes the beachfront at high tide. and in that moment when it comes it envelopes everything. washing away all the good that currently exists. then it passes. i spend the days where your memory overtakes me, reminiscing … Continue reading Enough.
There seems to be a disconnect between my mind and my reality, Where I exist in two seperate places and both maintain a certain fragility, So easily am I tossed between two different plains of existence, Yet I continue onward with an irrational sense of confident insistence, Stuck in this pattern of self destruction and … Continue reading Insanity.
As of late I've found that I am attracted to the chaos that accompanies tragedy and uncertainty, moreso than the stability that follows order. I can no longer enjoy the mundane or monotonus slog of the every day. No longer seek the ordinary, or the feeling of just ok, no. Not any longer. I need … Continue reading The Fire.
The sun rises and the sun sets, days blend together, the distance between us grows greater but I still can't forget, what it felt like to hold you in my arms, it was a drug unlike any other, one dose could stave off the hurt, i'm still coming down from you, withdrawal has left me … Continue reading Withdrawal.
I called the doctor but I had to leave a Message When he called me back He said he can't help me I asked why He said there is only one cure For what I got And that cure is time I said Doc That's the one thing I don't got
How would you have me contend, With all of the company in my head, With a mind that's never clear, A soul void of anything but fear, Your words of encouragement all ring hollow, They won't help me reach tomorrow, Yet you preach them all the same, To hell with your God take his name … Continue reading Company.
I have tried to drink you Away I have tried to drug you Away I have tried to fuck you Away But you will not go Away They keep telling me time will get you Away I need you desperately to go Away In truth I don't want you to go Away.
The coldness that I now feel Is not the coldness that is now real The frost has settled on the ground But the pain inside is more profound Then any type of freeze that comes my way And so this winter I'll see no reprieve From the cold that's now inside of me.
You are my prison And you are my paradise One sip, one glass and I'm lost in your trance And I need you More than ever now You're the last friend I have left You bring the quiet And only you can dull the pain But you have taken everything from me In truth we're … Continue reading Trapped In The Bottle.
It's 3am I can't sleep Another night Plagued by dreams I'm tired of her showing up there Sick of writing about it Need her out of my head But as of late The only reprieve Is an intrusive thought Tying the knot Slipping it on Pulling taut Then the drop No good thoughts
I don't let people in There was only one before you She didn't like what she saw either And she left too It's hard to describe the pain When someone really sees you When they say that they love you But they can't stay and leave you I won't do that again But not out … Continue reading You.
I hop from bed to bed Telling my sad tale to any that will hear And they listen I don't know why But they do And I drink And they don't But they still listen And they keep letting me come back In truth I'm not much of a man More a boy I don't … Continue reading I Drink.
2 pills to numb the pain, 6 drinks to do the same, A few hours away, I escape into the maze, Where this feeling disappears, And nothing really matters, Where life is just a game, The mirror no longer shattered, I see the boy I was, Not the man that I've become, And for a … Continue reading Numb.
There are moments in my day Where for just a minute I forget about you I can crack a smile I can laugh And within seconds There you are The smile fades The laugh dies It hurts.
Nothing feels Good Anymore I've felt this way For years Bandaged that feeling For so long With Women With Booze With Pills & Cheap thrills But now My vices Are bland I still get up Still go on with my day But nothing feels good anymore I don't think I'm ok.
What's the old saying? To get over someone, get under someone new. So then why when I'm with another can I only think of you? I wonder if you feel the same. Curious if you feel this pain. Do you ever think of me when another man says your name? When you find yourself in … Continue reading Do you ever?
I long for the day where I take my last breath. Relief from this hole that inhabits my chest. Escape my fractured mind and embrace beautiful death. I long for the day where I take my last breath. But this life isn't done with me yet. I made a deal with the devil and I … Continue reading The Devil Inside.
I sought hollow comfort in another woman's bed. Tried to fill this void inside myself, tried to clear my head. Of you. And now I know for sure, what I had only thought before. You are irreplaceable. And so I'll get up in the morning and I'll sleepwalk through my day. Dreaming about the times … Continue reading Sleepwalking.
My storm has finally come to claim it's prize. The rains picking up now. Pulled in every direction by the crazed winds that surround me. Thunder roars on in the distance. Inching closer every second until it feels as if it's origin is inside of me. Clawing it's way up my throat trying to escape. … Continue reading Goodbye.